petition to get every college rejection letter to be sent with complimentary chocolate, kleenex and a voucher for a gallon-sized ice cream tub
at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background.
nevermind, my mom says i can’t do that.
Don’t invite me to your wedding i will look better than you and it will be embarrassing for us both
Well she had three kids so we all know but that’s a nice thought.(via bell-endofanera)